This I Wonder Essay
Problem sentence #1:During this time I would always joke with my mother saying “can’t wait to get a tattoo tonight” then she would respond very angrily with some hurtful words and threats. (Started a sentence with -ing word)
Fixed sentence #1 : At this time I would always joke with my mother saying “can’t wait to get a tattoo tonight” then she would respond very angrily with some hurtful words and threats. (took out the first word that started with an -ing)
Problem Sentence #2 : There I was in the middle of North Philadelphia sitting on a couch sweating even though it was the middle of winter and the house had no heat and shaking because I was so nervous. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #2 : I'm in the middle of North Philadelphia sitting on a couch sweating in the middle of winter with a house that doesn't have heat, shaking because I'm so nervous. (Active sentence)
Problem Sentence #3 : I passed the point where if I didn’t go through with this I would probably regret it more not finishing it instead of just having half of it done. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #3 : I'm now at the point thinking if i don't go through with this i will regret it more not finishing the tattoo instead of having it half done. (Active sentence)
This I Argue
Problem Sentence #1 : With this much money going towards the farmers you would think fruit and vegetables would be cheaper at food stores, but it’s not. (I personally didn't like this sentence and I'm pretty sure its passive)
Fixed Sentence #1 : When America is giving out 20 billion dollars to farmers to help grow their crops, the food they sell at the market should be affordable to everyone.
Problem Sentence #2 : We need a change in the SNAP program, only 130 dollars a month just for food is not nearly enough for people that have food stamps to live by. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #2 : We need to change the SNAP program, only 130 dollars a month just for food is not nearly enough for people that are in the SNAP. (Active sentence)
Problem Sentence #3 : You could you live off of 130 dollars a month just for food? (Sentence doesn't make sense)
Fixed Sentence #3 : Could you live off of 130 dollars a month just for food? (Fixed)
Problem sentence #1:During this time I would always joke with my mother saying “can’t wait to get a tattoo tonight” then she would respond very angrily with some hurtful words and threats. (Started a sentence with -ing word)
Fixed sentence #1 : At this time I would always joke with my mother saying “can’t wait to get a tattoo tonight” then she would respond very angrily with some hurtful words and threats. (took out the first word that started with an -ing)
Problem Sentence #2 : There I was in the middle of North Philadelphia sitting on a couch sweating even though it was the middle of winter and the house had no heat and shaking because I was so nervous. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #2 : I'm in the middle of North Philadelphia sitting on a couch sweating in the middle of winter with a house that doesn't have heat, shaking because I'm so nervous. (Active sentence)
Problem Sentence #3 : I passed the point where if I didn’t go through with this I would probably regret it more not finishing it instead of just having half of it done. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #3 : I'm now at the point thinking if i don't go through with this i will regret it more not finishing the tattoo instead of having it half done. (Active sentence)
This I Argue
Problem Sentence #1 : With this much money going towards the farmers you would think fruit and vegetables would be cheaper at food stores, but it’s not. (I personally didn't like this sentence and I'm pretty sure its passive)
Fixed Sentence #1 : When America is giving out 20 billion dollars to farmers to help grow their crops, the food they sell at the market should be affordable to everyone.
Problem Sentence #2 : We need a change in the SNAP program, only 130 dollars a month just for food is not nearly enough for people that have food stamps to live by. (Passive sentence)
Fixed Sentence #2 : We need to change the SNAP program, only 130 dollars a month just for food is not nearly enough for people that are in the SNAP. (Active sentence)
Problem Sentence #3 : You could you live off of 130 dollars a month just for food? (Sentence doesn't make sense)
Fixed Sentence #3 : Could you live off of 130 dollars a month just for food? (Fixed)